The Tattler

The Tattler

John and Jane Parents 1 v. Montgomery County Board of Education: Parents Challenge School Support Plans for Trans Students
John and Jane Parents 1 v. Montgomery County Board of Education: Parents Challenge School Support Plans for Trans Students
June 14, 2024

On May 20, 2024, the Supreme Court of the United States denied a Maryland parents’ petition that challenged school support plans for trans...

Track and Field season comes to an end.
Track and Field: Road to Nationals
June 12, 2024

Though the school year is winding down, Track and Field is not. They attended the MPSSAA 4A Track and Field State Championships from May 21 through...

Lockdowns are becoming increasingly common country-wide.
Life in Lockdown
June 12, 2024

With lockdowns becoming increasingly more common around the country, the chilling reality of these incidents has recently hit close to home for...

Rivalries at BCC.
The Importance of Rivalries
June 11, 2024

For better or for worse, rivalries are a huge part of the game for B-CC athletic teams. Not only do rivalries promote school spirit and motivate...

Pitcher of the Year: Henry Eichner
Pitcher of the Year: Henry Eichner
June 11, 2024

Henry Eichner took home the Division 1 Pitcher of the Year award to cap off an incredible junior season. Eichner led B-CC’s elite pitching...

Varsity Girls Basketball took the court at the State Championship.
A Year in Review of Baron Sports
June 11, 2024

Athletic Director Mr. Krawczel is pleased with the results of the school’s athletes this year. Looking back on 2023-2024, though, he was less...

Check out drive-in movies across the DMV
Coming To a Field Near You...
June 7, 2024

With summer kicking off, students wonder what they should do with their friends. Between pool days and going to museums in DC, a fun and unique...

Heartbreaking: Editor-in-Chief Adjusts To Life Outside Snitch

The Snitch is unwilling to let go of their longtime editor-in-chief.

In news that comes as both a shock and a great source of shame to all of us here at The Snitch, sources indicate that Editor-in-Chief Wren Buehler is adjusting well to life outside our satire dungeon, rather than, as expected, begging to be let back in.

This news comes in the wake of an unfortunate incident wherein, as a graduation present, Buehler was granted a fifteen-minute period to visit the outside world. When pressed for information about the escape, Snitch prison guard, Biff Meathead, said that “this is a great shame to our newspaper. Rest assured, we will capture this rogue editor, who we will return to her position, and if she resists, she will be kept captive as all editors deserve to be.”

Snitch editor, Johnathan B. Wilkes, was more optimistic. “As an editor-in-chief, Wren is totally lacking in useful life skills. The moment she’s confronted with a real job, she’ll realize that life in prison is the best option for her.”

Unfortunately, Snitch spies report that Buehler has yet to crack psychologically. Only time will tell if The Snitch will be able to edit articles next year.

As of press time, Snitch administrators have suggested re-budgeting, cutting funding to the Snitch entrapment department in order to finance the capture of a new Editor-in-Chief, or to the writing team, so they can actually write some good articles this coming year.

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