The Tattler

The Tattler

John and Jane Parents 1 v. Montgomery County Board of Education: Parents Challenge School Support Plans for Trans Students
John and Jane Parents 1 v. Montgomery County Board of Education: Parents Challenge School Support Plans for Trans Students
June 14, 2024

On May 20, 2024, the Supreme Court of the United States denied a Maryland parents’ petition that challenged school support plans for trans...

Track and Field season comes to an end.
Track and Field: Road to Nationals
June 12, 2024

Though the school year is winding down, Track and Field is not. They attended the MPSSAA 4A Track and Field State Championships from May 21 through...

Lockdowns are becoming increasingly common country-wide.
Life in Lockdown
June 12, 2024

With lockdowns becoming increasingly more common around the country, the chilling reality of these incidents has recently hit close to home for...

Rivalries at BCC.
The Importance of Rivalries
June 11, 2024

For better or for worse, rivalries are a huge part of the game for B-CC athletic teams. Not only do rivalries promote school spirit and motivate...

Pitcher of the Year: Henry Eichner
Pitcher of the Year: Henry Eichner
June 11, 2024

Henry Eichner took home the Division 1 Pitcher of the Year award to cap off an incredible junior season. Eichner led B-CC’s elite pitching...

Varsity Girls Basketball took the court at the State Championship.
A Year in Review of Baron Sports
June 11, 2024

Athletic Director Mr. Krawczel is pleased with the results of the school’s athletes this year. Looking back on 2023-2024, though, he was less...

Check out drive-in movies across the DMV
Coming To a Field Near You...
June 7, 2024

With summer kicking off, students wonder what they should do with their friends. Between pool days and going to museums in DC, a fun and unique...

5 Wacky Crimes you Didn’t Know Trump was on Trial For

Donald J. Trump faces far more charges than most know.

1. Grand Theft Aqua

While trying to escape from the police, Donald Trump held up the crew of a Disney-brand cruise ship with a gold-plated knife and hijacked it. Fortunately, he was tackled by someone in a Donald Duck mascot suit, which allowed the Mar-A-Lago police to handcuff him.

2. Armed Grave Robbery

Donald Trump, throughout his presidency repeatedly attacked skeletons’ rights, claiming that “Those musky bone guys, now, don’t get me wrong, I know lots of good skeletons, but let me tell you, those skeletons, I don’t get it, get some flesh, I mean I got flesh, why can’t they have flesh? They’re just lazy, I think.” Last month, he made good on that promise, when he grabbed the jewelry from a grave and threatened its inhabitant with a gold-plated pistol. The grave’s inhabitant said it was, “A terrifying experience, but also like, really tacky, you know? Don’t blame me, I voted for Bernie Sanders in 2016.”

3. Plagiarizing his entire presidential campaign

Recent allegations have come out that Donald Trump’s entire 2016 presidential campaign is an exact copy, with only the names and images changed, of the presidential campaign of obscure 1912 presidential primary candidate, Simeon Baldwin, wall with Mexico and all. “Those damn Mexicans,” said Baldwin from beyond the grave, after we summoned him. “bringing those satanic avocados into our great country. Those avocados, they’ll give you leprosy, you know.” Notably, this one aspect of the campaign was slightly changed for Trump’s. 

4. Arson

Yeah he just like, set stuff on fire. Not too much else to say.

5. Reverse Tax Evasion 

Finally, and most heinous of all, Trump committed multiple infractions of tax law, by paying over 10 times the amount of taxes he owed to the government. “It can only be described as an act of terrorism” said US Treasurer, Lot S. A. Money, “We literally cannot handle this much money. Please, take it from us; I’m begging.” Notably, none of the funds went to schools for supplies or repairs, however multiple congressmen were seen driving much nicer cars, so it’s all worth it in the end.

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