Hey. I don’t know if you’re even gonna get this, but I don’t have much power left, and The Tattler didn’t respond to my email. My name is Jack Kingsley. I live on Floral Court in Chevy Chase, and I’m still snowed in.
Yeah, I know it’s been a while since the last snow day, but I’m still stuck here. See, the snow plows don’t usually come down my road since it’s too narrow, so normally I just walk to the end of the block to catch the bus. But there was a mishap, and, uh, someone piled all the snow on our block in front of my front door. It’s just too heavy for my shrimp arms, and the snow kept melting and refreezing during the night until it was basically an iceberg.
Meanwhile, things aren’t looking too hot on the inside. My Wi-Fi isn’t strong enough for me to download virtual assignments, we had to eat my sister’s hamster, and I’ve missed, like, four tests. Plus, my mom left on a business trip just before the snowstorm, and we don’t know if she ever made it back from Nebraska. Send help. I think my cabin fever is progressing to cabin delirium.
If you’ve received this message, you don’t have much time. Please send help. I think my sister’s hamster came back, I can here [sic] it in the walls. It sounds angry.
think i may have to gnaw off my arm…
don’t know where dad is. hope he made it out.
help.
Editor’s Note: This email was sent about a week ago, but we don’t check our inbox often. Hope you’re holding up okay, Jake!
