Due to the fact that spirit week participation was at an all-time low this year, B-CC is making the futile attempt to claw back some school spirit from the apathetic minds of its students, by revealing Spirit Week 2.0! B-CC is going all out with its ideas, and The Snitch has exclusive first-reveal rights to them.
Monday: Dress Like a Person Day!
On Monday, students will be expected to copy the exact dress of one US citizen, chosen at random. During the weekend before spirit week, every student will be given a full dossier on the person they are meant to copy, including a full personal history, brain scan, blood type, and favorite gum flavor. It is unknown how these dossiers were compiled, but Snitch journalists have found possible clues to a tie between B-CC administrators and an obscure branch of the CIA dismantled in 1974.
Tuesday: Bully Appreciation Day!
Bullies are the backbone of school culture, from wedgies in the hallways, to swirlies in the bathroom. Bring extra lunch money, and dress in your dorkiest outfits today! B-CC recommends non-tape resistant shirts as well, to allow “kick me” signs to stack more easily. B-CC is not liable for any violence committed against students on Bully Appreciation Day.
Wednesday: Obscure Supreme Court Justice Day!
We spend too much time talking about the presidents! Even the obscure ones, such as William Henry Taft, have hundreds of biographies. B-CC administration has chosen to direct students to wear outfits and wigs mimicking the lesser talked about SCOTUS justices, like Henry Brockholst Livingston, David Davis, and William Henry Taft.
Thursday: Ritual of Thji-Urgothz Day!
Come in your best bloody, dark robes everybody! There will be an extended lunch ritual to summon the dark lord of the 17th realm, Thji-Urgothz, and lead him to an unholy crusade against reality itself. Students will still be expected to attend periods 5 through 7 afterwards.
Friday: Pajama Day Again!
Pajama day is eternal. Pajama day will never die. The sleepwear will always be with you. You will never escape. There will be no mercy on pajama day. The halls will run rainbow with wool and linen.
At time of publishing, B-CC has also made the decision to make Spirit Week 2.0 mandatory for all students, under threat of being forced to participate in “The Baron Games”. The details of which have not been revealed yet, but it does involve large vats of acid.
