If you’ve checked the news lately, you’ll have noticed one name popping up frequently: FBI wanted list number one, Franz Rottweiler. Also known as Dr. Skull, he’s infamous for blowing up five national monuments within a week, the invention of the solar decimator, and just kinda being a jerk, honestly. And beginning next year, he’ll be teaching AP World Domination at B-CC. The class has already garnered immense attention from B-CC students, with a record 3 students looking at the syllabus. To learn more, we sent our star interviewer Agent Storm to investigate the new class.
”You see, the students of today are lacking in the information they need to succeed in the world. They’re too absorbed in their TikToks and Instagrams to even know how to properly charge a death ray! I hope my class here can change that,” said Dr. Skull, upon being asked why he started the class. “When they grow up and are on their own, their plans are going to be foiled by things as simple as ill-placed self-destruct buttons, or their right-hand woman being seduced by the charming hero.” Unfortunately, the interview was cut short upon Agent Storm escaping Dr. Skull’s laser-spike deathtrap via the use of a rusty nail he had hidden inside of his mouth minutes prior. We at The Snitch keep telling Agent Storm not to do this, but he keeps responding that “worrying about tetanus is for wimps”.
To gain further information, we also spoke to AP World Domination alum Sandra Richardson, now going by the trade name Deathklaw. “Back when I was a student in the 8th circle of hell,” (Snitch resources have led us to theorize she is referring to Walt Whitman High School here) “I really had no idea what I was going to do with my career. I signed up for AP World Domination on a whim, honestly. The moment I stepped into that room on the first day of senior year, and saw Dr. Skull unleash a horde of killer nanobots upon a peaceful family of innocent mice, I knew what I was going to do with my life.” When asked for further comment, Deathklaw stated that she “had an appointment” with “a pesky interloper.” In unrelated news, Agent Storm has been reported missing.
Thus far, zero students have signed up for AP World Domination, due to it not providing any credits for graduation. Good job, B-CC.
