Helicopter Parenting at B-CC: Not Just an Episode on Black Mirror

“My mom likes to know where I am at all times and uses Life 360 and FindMyIphone. With my brother who graduated, she was way more laid back and trustful,” Francesca Ryan, a rising senior at B-CC, confesses. Her mother agrees, adding, “I would describe myself as authoritative in my parenting, and I need to be able to know what is going on with my child in order to keep her safe and out of trouble. Her brother had a better grasp on things and didn’t need to keep track of him as closely.”

B-CC parents have many parenting styles; some are permissive, some are authoritative, and others have an authoritarian parenting style. Overbearing parents may be referred to using the more modern term “Helicopter Parenting,” where there seems to be the belief that their children would not become successful or safe without their ‘over involvement’.

This method is enabled by access to modern technology, now with the ability for parents to monitor what is going on at every point of the day in their child’s world. This idea may come from a place of good intentions. However, it is increasingly being perceived as invasive. 

An article from the Wall Street Journal states, “Doctors see benefits in giving kids greater independence and freedom to make decisions. Critics said hyper-vigilance harmed kids’ ability to develop problem-solving skills, navigate conflict on their own, and create an identity separate from their parents.”

Nicole Perry, a professor in human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, says, “While parental guidance and structure can often be a good thing, excessive coaching by parents can lead to behavioral issues and lower academic performance.”

However, helicopter parenting brings a range of benefits, including giving kids an advantage in having someone be there to ensure their priorities are in order. American journalist Pamela Druckersman says, “Using data from a national study that followed thousands of American teenagers for years, the authors found that the offspring of “authoritative” parents were more likely to graduate from college and graduate school.”

Nick Mobile, a graduate of B-CC, now a student at the University of Maryland, sees some of the merit in this: “My parents were more laid back with me, so I wasn’t as on top of things with the college application process as I could have been. However, I still feel like I’m able to be an independent adult, and that I haven’t missed out on anything with more authoritative parents.”

When consulting B-CC’s school psychologist, Ms. Lindenfeld, about helicopter parenting as a whole she explains, “Kids have come in the past to talk about the stress surrounding their academic and personal lives, and parents add to that overall amount of stress in those sectors depending on the styles they use in parenting their children. Some students have parents that give them too much leeway, while other students have parents that put a lot of stress on them to take every opportunity available to succeed academically. Balance is important and it is dependent on the individual.”

Isabella Goodman, a junior at B-CC says, “My parents have a lot of structure and rules for me, which in some capacity is a good thing because I stay on track. However, the limitations they put on me make it hard for me to make and maintain plans with my friends, which makes me sad sometimes, but I know it will pay off in the future when I have those ingrained values to focus on success and structure.”