A Modest Promposal

Katherine Jones

Gabe Gebrekristose, Opinion Director (Emeritus)

The date is April 28, exactly three weeks before the prom on May 19. David had already been scheming Alissa, the girl in his AP Physics class, for some time now in preparation for taking her to prom. The day had come for David to prompose, and he recruited eight of his best friends to carry out an elaborate plan that would hopefully be the catalyst for a night of fun. 

 

When the last of the eight arrived at David’s house, they all started clapping and making gorilla noises followed by a series of yelling “lock in” and “let’s go.” It was time. David and his friends sat on the floor in a circle and screen mirrored Davids’s phone onto the smart tv in his basement. 

 

David opened up Snapchat and put all of his conversations on display. He shrugged his shoulders and exhaled, dramatically, simultaneously and muttered “here we go”. He opened the snap that Alissa sent him and started to nervously shake. It was a picture that showed 90% her bedroom ceiling and 10% the corner of her face. David clicked on her profile as his friends watched the tv screen in suspense. It only took the typing of three letters for his friends to react like they had seen a ghost.

 

“Hey” 

 

David dropped his phone like a hot potato and started to shriek and run around the room; his friends did the same. When they finally recollected themselves, Alissa opened the message and started to type, so their calmness did not last long. It was after she sent a message that the impossible looked to be possible. 

 

“Hey David” 

 

David had been in these situations, though. He was no rookie, but rather the most decorated veteran. It was now or never. Immersed in the heat of the moment, David chose the former. 

 

“Do you have a date for prom?” 

 

“No” 

 

“Would you go with me?” 

 

“I’d love to go with you!” 

 

Ever heard Peter Drury’s commentary of Sergio Agueros league winning goal in 2012? Drury would have brewed an even more poetic narration of David’s promposal. Something like:

 

“This is breath-taking prom drama. What a moment, what a time, what an execution. This is beyond special. The most extraordinary scenario that David could have dreamt up.” 

 

Teen boys across the country have started to deviate from the old methods of asking girls to prom – flowers, thoughtful signs, a surprise at a sports game – and now just get straight to the point. 

The modern, and modest, promposal.